


name in the sky, does it ever get lonely?

by rosegoldblood



Category: Original Work
Genre: Original Character(s), Original Fiction, Original Universe, Other, Pining, Songfic, Without Me by Halsey!!!, kind of, medieval era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-04
Updated: 2019-06-04
Packaged: 2020-04-07 20:10:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19092262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosegoldblood/pseuds/rosegoldblood
Summary: all i want is to reach you, but you're too far away.





	name in the sky, does it ever get lonely?

_ name in the sky, does it ever get lonely? _

 

How do you find something you don’t know you’re searching for?

How do you search for someone you don’t remember?

The gold has faded. Your name used to shine bright, carved into the throne, but now it’s illegible. Dust coats the surfaces. It hasn’t been touched in years, yet time still manages to erase the memories that so long ago I promised to never forget. Moments I want to remember but can’t. 

Did you know I wrote about you? Most of these writings, these moments I recorded with ink on paper and careful hands, have been lost. Lost to fire, lost to wind, lost to my own rages where I couldn’t stand to think about the person you used to be. Someone who meant something, instead of just a distant memory. 

But the ones that remain, I read them. All of them. If only they’d tell me where you are now, if you’re even still here, who you were to me. But they can’t, so I am left to imagine. Perhaps we met at a grand ball, with masquerade masks and elegant dresses, or maybe in the woods at night, amongst the darkness and the trees. You were a merchant, a tailor, a princess from another kingdom. You were my friend, my ally, maybe my lover. But no one can give me confirmation on which one is the truth.

This I do know: I loved you. So much, too much. And every day I regret what I did, every day I ask myself:  _ why?  _ Why did I do it? Why did I leave you, the person I loved so much? Did you try to stop me? Did you leave without restraint? Did you know that one day I’d regret it all? I’d give anything to know the answers, the truth, everything. I’d give anything to get you back to me. I’d lose everything just to gain one. These wealths, the respect, the new seat made from metal that will never tarnish, they all mean nothing because I have no one. Because I do not have you.

I cannot search for someone I don’t remember. I don’t remember you. For all the imagining and dreams and papers in the world, nothing will bring you back to me because it will be like I never knew you at all. You will stand in front of me and your face will be unfamiliar. You will say my name and your voice will be foreign. And for that, I am sorry.

When I chose to sit up here on my golden throne, I had no idea what I was throwing away.

  
  



End file.
